Things I learned while living abroad.
I have moved out of the country 3 times in my life, and two times in the course of my marriage.
Each time brought a different challenge, as well as different excitement.
The first time I moved out of the country, I moved to Brazil since my dad got a job with Itau, which is a Brazilian bank. I was ecstatic about the move. All things aside I was most excited for this move because it meant living in a culture that I wanted to connect more with and being in Brazil seemed like the answer to a lot of problems/questions I had.
The second time I moved out of the country was a year after being married to Josh. One day we sat down one day and was discussing our options of moving out of our apartment. We were really sick of being in Logan and thought maybe moving apartments would help get us out of a funk. We had entertained the idea of doing a volunteer trip previously as something to work towards since Josh was very invested in finishing school. One day when I was really sick of the funk, and really ready to actually spent time with my husband I said:"well... we could move apartments, or we can move to China." One thing led to another and we lived in Weihai, China teaching English for four months.
The third time, aka our current situation, we moved to Taiwan as a way to get our traveling itch resolved, and again we were sick of not seeing each other. One thing led to another and now instead of staying for 6 months, we are stayed for 1 year. We decided it was good for us financially, and again we were really, really, really really sick of not seeing each other.
Each time I/we realized different things. Due to my intense love of lists I've created a list of things I learned about living abroad based on my limited experience.
I feel like this is an obvious one, but even then some people assume things are similar. "Oh you went to China, isn't that the same as Taiwan?" Or "Your mom is Brazilian, wouldn't living in Brazil be the same as being at home?" Total misconceptions. It's good to go into a move with an open mind, and not any preliminary expectations of what you're going into. Research = good. Expectations= bad.
2. Education is important, but don't let it take over your life abroad.
I learned this one most recently. I've been obsessed with school and trying to keep my grades at a certain level, but it's also taken over my life. I spent most weekends in the house in my "house clothes" (which is basically my underwear) doing homework. I wouldn't recommend it to someone. Our first six months in Taiwan was spent with me doing homework every chance I got, and I got very good grades but was feeling like I missed out of a lot of fun things in Taiwan because of it.
Something I was very self conscious about the first time I moved abroad was my Portuguese. I grew up with some basic portuguese that I could say to family, but it was mostly seen to me as my "family's language" rather than "my language." I was even more frustrated that I hadn't gotten a good enough grade in Portuguese class halfway through the year and I couldn't move up to Portuguese 3. I still worked at it best I could and honestly- my portuguese is much better than it was back then now that I'm almost 24 years old and I have used it more in my day-to-day life. Even this last time we moved, we came to Taiwan with some basic Mandarin and we are leaving Taiwan with Elementary Mandarin (it's like basic, but with more experience in some verbs, food, and how to ask for things at a restuarant.)
Each time brought a different challenge, as well as different excitement.
The first time I moved out of the country, I moved to Brazil since my dad got a job with Itau, which is a Brazilian bank. I was ecstatic about the move. All things aside I was most excited for this move because it meant living in a culture that I wanted to connect more with and being in Brazil seemed like the answer to a lot of problems/questions I had.
The second time I moved out of the country was a year after being married to Josh. One day we sat down one day and was discussing our options of moving out of our apartment. We were really sick of being in Logan and thought maybe moving apartments would help get us out of a funk. We had entertained the idea of doing a volunteer trip previously as something to work towards since Josh was very invested in finishing school. One day when I was really sick of the funk, and really ready to actually spent time with my husband I said:"well... we could move apartments, or we can move to China." One thing led to another and we lived in Weihai, China teaching English for four months.
The third time, aka our current situation, we moved to Taiwan as a way to get our traveling itch resolved, and again we were sick of not seeing each other. One thing led to another and now instead of staying for 6 months, we are stayed for 1 year. We decided it was good for us financially, and again we were really, really, really really sick of not seeing each other.
Each time I/we realized different things. Due to my intense love of lists I've created a list of things I learned about living abroad based on my limited experience.
1. Not all cultures are the same even if you've been exposed to similar ones.
I feel like this is an obvious one, but even then some people assume things are similar. "Oh you went to China, isn't that the same as Taiwan?" Or "Your mom is Brazilian, wouldn't living in Brazil be the same as being at home?" Total misconceptions. It's good to go into a move with an open mind, and not any preliminary expectations of what you're going into. Research = good. Expectations= bad.
2. Education is important, but don't let it take over your life abroad.
I learned this one most recently. I've been obsessed with school and trying to keep my grades at a certain level, but it's also taken over my life. I spent most weekends in the house in my "house clothes" (which is basically my underwear) doing homework. I wouldn't recommend it to someone. Our first six months in Taiwan was spent with me doing homework every chance I got, and I got very good grades but was feeling like I missed out of a lot of fun things in Taiwan because of it.
3. Don't expect to become fluent in the language right away, or even at all.
Something I was very self conscious about the first time I moved abroad was my Portuguese. I grew up with some basic portuguese that I could say to family, but it was mostly seen to me as my "family's language" rather than "my language." I was even more frustrated that I hadn't gotten a good enough grade in Portuguese class halfway through the year and I couldn't move up to Portuguese 3. I still worked at it best I could and honestly- my portuguese is much better than it was back then now that I'm almost 24 years old and I have used it more in my day-to-day life. Even this last time we moved, we came to Taiwan with some basic Mandarin and we are leaving Taiwan with Elementary Mandarin (it's like basic, but with more experience in some verbs, food, and how to ask for things at a restuarant.)
4. Don't be offended if people talk to you like a child.
I know that people mean the best. I also know that I don't speak Chinese will enough to answer questions the right way all the time. Something that would really get my goat is when I would order food in Chinese, and then people would reply back to me in English. At first I was all "I've been here for 6 months and eat lunch here every day and order in chinese every day and they still reply in english!!!" Now, after a lot of meditation and reflection, I know that it's because they're trying to make it easier on you, and they're also trying to practice their english. A lot of people will use me as a chance to show off their skills, which is fine because that's what I always try to do to! This was a hard thing to learn, but I'm glad I learned it.
5. You don't need as much crap as you think you do.
Moving to Taiwan was hard. We knew we would be there for 6 months (jokes on us) but we also knew we could only bring 4 suitcases but we definitely wanted my TV and my Xbox. Now after living abroad for a year, Josh and I have actively tried to think about all the shit we left behind and whether we need it or not. I have survived off those suitcases, and even got rid of a lot of stuff while being here. I am not really a shopper, so I don't have a lot of clothes, but the only thing I really miss is my electronics (wii, Xbox One, PSP, aka all the things I didn't bring.) We've learned that we don't need that storage unit full of stuff, and we sort of wish we sold all of our stuff before we left.
Now the last, and most important thing I've learned while living abroad:
6. You are not the smartest, most normal, and most capable person in the room.
Before moving abroad these last 2 times, Josh and I had to go through a "culture training" with the company that sent us to teach. Each time, they talk about culture shock and all its effects on people and how to avoid it. Heres the best way to avoid it: accept that there are people out there who are different, but that doesn't mean they are wrong. I cannot tell you how many times we've been out and saw something we didn't understand. We've seen children put in Laundry baskets on scooters, we've seen children being held up by parents in order to pee in the trash can, we've seen 7/11's that sold hard boiled eggs that smelled like stinky tofu, we've seen night markets that sold squid on a stick but also silk worms, we've even seen people matching because they're dating/part of a family/ doing some sort of outting together but wanted to match anyways or sometimes, you throw a TV in the garbage the wrong way and get yelled at by the secuirty guards and have to take the TV out of the dumpster.... the list could go on forever. When we've stopped looking at these things as weird and more as things that are a part of the culture and consequently got off our high horses, we didn't experience any culture shock at all. Sometimes it's hard to admit that a 4 year old knows how to buy a subway ticket but you don't, and that's okay... but the first step to enjoying yourself while living abroad is accepting that you're ignorant and then trying to understand what in the fresh hell is going on.
I'm so sad that my time abroad has basically come to an end. This list doesn't even skim the surface of what I've learned because I am learning everyday. Life is the best teacher that we have, and I'm glad to know that I'm constantly learning. I hope as the more I travel and the more I allow myself to be in situations where I might be seen as oblivious, I will continue to grow as a person and as a citizen of the world.
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