Abide with me, 'tis eventide.

Certain days are just really hard for me. 
Today... being one of them. 
I woke up angry and now I will go to bed upset. 

Sometimes days like that just need to happen I guess. It gives me a new sense of appreciation for the friendships that I have and the not-so-relationship I have with my Favorite Human Being.  I may not be the most appreciative person, but today I just wish people knew how much I valued their existence... I love lists... so I'm going to make a list of "Thank You"'s to the people who helped me stay somewhat sane today. 

• Thank you random person who smiled to me on the street.- I think I looked like a mess as I ran (well... as much as you can run when you can't find your backpack for a solid 5 minutes) out of LDV and you smiled at me as if the sun was shining out of my freezing buttcheeks... 
• Thank you man who held me even as my pride and shame tried to push you away.- I am so sorry that I'm so stubborn and can't seem to handle the fact that I have emotions that chose to escape me and get the best of me. You held me as I spoke my objections of feelings and hated you for your affection... You seriously are the best and I value your friendship... more than I would like to admit honestly. 
• Thank you Favorite Person. - I openly cried in front of you... and i just appreciate your existence soo much. There are many days where I just wish you were here and I could have you hold me or take me to get ice cream even though it's 20 degrees outside, this was definitely one of those days. You just stayed on Skype with me even through my sobbing and shenanigans and let me pour it all our. I love you so much (even though you like to think that i don't) and I'm sorry that I'm so selfish that I wasn't more excited about your papers. You're seriously the best. 

I may not know exactly what to do at this moment... or how these events will affect my life for the future.... but God works in mysterious ways. For right now I just need to constantly remind myself that the world isn't over, I have options. I can figure this out if I just work and focus on the right things that I need to focus on. 

"In all they ways ackowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" - Proverbs 3:6